The balance between learning stillness while still making things happen!

We hinder our potential with our learned inability to be present and simply let things happen to us.

You see, I say “learned” because we aren’t born this way. If you observe the behaviour of a small child, one whose behaviour is yet to be spoilt by society’s “shoulds” and “coulds”, you will notice that they don’t have a perception of time. They want to attempt and perform the tasks that are presented to them despite having someone available that can do them quicker and better, they become deeply involved in pretend play, they feel their emotions so strongly despite not understanding them, they stop what they are doing to literally just sit there and cry out loud, they don’t care about being judged and they are unapologetically weird.

They do a lot, but they are also in the moment. I think there is something beautiful about that.

In contrast, we (adults) try to do so much but tend to never actually be involved in what we are doing, we get caught up in how much time we have to do that activity, we are distracted easily by inner thoughts and concerns, we let our phone sound interrupt our life as if the most important thing in our life is happening outside of it (in this case, on the side of whatever made the phone sound) and finally, we try to “multi-task”, i.e. transitioning very fast from activity to activity without actually doing anything fully.

Despite trying to live slow, I sometimes feel a “pull” to schedule tightly, to make sure I get the house tidy, but also move my body, also see friends (multiple ones), also have time for myself, also do crafts, also dedicate time to my hobbies, also study for work, also do meal-prep, also call my family, also dedicate time to my partner, and it is just unrealistic to think we can do it all, while actually enjoying those activities which, together, constitute our life.

When thinking whether slowing our lives will result in getting less things done, the honest answer is yes. However, we take time to find what our values are, we establish priorities and we do less things each day, but the things that are really important to us, we can find joy in actually appreciating our life in real time. Without rushing, even cleaning the house can be about smelling the products you chose, listening to your favourite podcast or playlist and turning your messy house into a safe haven where you can then light a candle and read a book, meets with friends can become less frequent but more meaningful, with all of your energy being dedicated to that special person, and so on.

The goal of slow living is not just sitting around and never doing anything meaningful again, but quite the opposite! It is being mindful about what we do and letting go of external or learned expectations of what we should be doing with our lives, to give space and energy to make what is really special to us happen.