Why learning about values is essential to a slow life
Have you come across the concept of “glimmers”?
Opposite to triggers, glimmers are micro moments of joy. That calm contentment we feel when there’s nowhere we’d rather be, when we are really present and notice it. They are very personal to each one of us, so sharing examples would be fruitless, but I am sure you can think of one or two moments when you felt like this. Just by writing about them, I notice and a gentle smile drawn on my face.
When our souls lighten like this, we are likely to be living by one or more of our core values, so glimmers are valuable clues that help us identify our essential beliefs and principles. For example, I have always loved travelling, and some of my most precious memories happened somewhere new and unknown. My core values are Freedom, Tolerance and Serenity. Without going too much into it, when we’re away from our usual social setting, we are not expected to behave in any specific way (maybe the opposite, even). I have always felt like I was somewhat of a cultural misfit, so being abroad fulfils tolerance, stemming from a 2-way curiosity between locals and me, the traveller; freedom, to behave in a way that feels natural to me, in the moment, rather than complying with social expectations; and serenity, from being on my own, without time constraints.
Knowing our values is, in my opinion, essential for wellbeing, because from them, we can then identify our priorities, and organise our lives in a way that aligns with what feels true to ourselves. This is particularly relevant in today’s world, where everything and everyone competes for our attention, and our energy is hastily drained by decision fatigue.
Imagine this situation: it’s the middle of the week, Mark feels exhausted and dreads having to work for another 3 or 4 days. At the end of the day, his friend Sophia asks him if he wants to get a drink, and even though he’s been looking forward to going home all day, he immediately says yes because he doesn’t want to let her down and be rude, only to beat himself up the following morning for being a “people-pleaser”.
Now imagine that Mark knows that his core values are “Generosity”, “Honesty” and “Creativity”, and he has previously identified that, at this time in his life, his priorities are health (because he can’t be generous when he doesn’t feel well), his social circle (because building trusting relationships allows for honesty) and time in nature (to fuel his creativity), in that order. When faced with Sophia’s invitation, he remembers that, that week, he’s been eating and sleeping well, and keeping up with his exercise plan. He decides to accept her invitation, because spending time with his friend is important to him, and sets a time-boundary, to allow for some sleep. The following morning, when he wakes up tired, he smiles thinking of last night’s memories. If he’s invited again to something else that week, he might decided that, actually, he wants to make time for a walk in the park after work that day, and schedule some time with his friends on a different day.
This is an overly simplified example that I hope shows how, essentially the same scenario, can lead to feelings of resentment and guilt, or gratitude and contentment, depending on our level of awareness and intention.
This is why, in my opinion, identifying our values is an essential part of slow living, and living a life with intention, noticing what it is that lightens our soul and prioritising what is important to us, can lead to more fulfilment, contentment and joy.
